


ifhy

by brandywine421



Series: Unfinished AUs of Flail (aka fail) [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 05:30:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5404835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brandywine421/pseuds/brandywine421
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Are you sure it's mine?" Howard asked.</p>
<p>She nodded.  "We can test the blood type when I have it but you're the only man I've been with in over a year."</p>
<p>"I wore a rubber, I think, but, hell, Cap always tells me they're not completely safe.  I - I don't want kids, I never even considered them," Howard sighed.  "But I could use a wife."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, what?" Maria choked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>(Part of a collection of abandoned, but not unloved, fics I will never finish.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	ifhy

# dropping bombs

  
  
"Oh.  _Fuck_ ," Howard whispered.  
  
Steve hissed at him.  "Language, Howard."  
  
"Sorry, but did you just hear what she said?" Howard hissed back.  He didn't know if he'd be able to take a breath deep enough to form a complex sentence.  
  
"Maria, I'm sorry about that.  How are you doing?" Steve asked, leaning forward and offering her a handkerchief.  
  
A laugh bubbled up through his hysteria.  "Oh, Cap, shut the fuck up."  There was no way Steve was blind enough to believe the lying bitch.  
  
Shame, he liked her before she showed up with lies about a kid.  
  
Steve frowned at him darkly but Maria snatched the handkerchief from him and promptly spit in it and flung it in Howard's face.  "Bastard."  
  
"JARVIS," Cap barked suddenly.  
  
Jarvis walked into the room and didn't bother asking for instructions, moving to the mantle and turning the pictures of Mrs. Rogers and the Barnes family face down.  
  
"If I was allowed to touch the displays I could have done that myself," Steve said with a nod to the butler.  
  
"Do not touch the displays, Captain," Jarvis replied as he left with a hidden smirk, probably to eavesdrop.  
  
"Now," Steve said.  "Maria, why do you think Howard's the father of your child?"  
  
She flushed and glared angrily at Howard before softening and speaking to Steve.  "I don't make a habit of sleeping with men like _Howard_.  Or men in general," she added under her breath.  
  
Howard had not known that.  "Oh.  You and Jules?"  
  
She didn't look at either of them when she answered.  "She really liked you, said it was one of her long time fantasies to get you into bed."  
  
"Maria's gorgeous but Jules wasn't a natural blonde, you know I hate that," Howard said to Steve.  
  
Steve sighed at him.  "You know their names, that's progress for you."  
  
Maria glanced between them and settled on Howard.  "I'm not here to blackmail you, but I am here to ask for help.  It was my mistake, too, but it's going to be a baby in a year or so - "  
  
"Uh, it's less than a year - " Steve murmured but Maria glared at him.  
  
"Don't rush me, buddy," she pointed at him before she met Howard's gaze again.  "Having a kid right now will ruin my reputation.  I've worked really hard to get where I am and I need - I need funds to disappear long enough to pop out this thing and get myself together so I can show up with my adorable adopted orphan at the next Society Gala."  
  
"You're not going to claim him?" Steve asked softly, but immediately flushed and leaned back.  "Sorry - wow, that's not my place."  
  
Howard patted his knee.  "You know it doesn't work like that, you go to those Women's Lib meetings all the time."  
  
"Sorry," Steve repeated.  
  
Howard was used to Steve being annoyed and mildly scandalized but this was going to hit him hard no matter what happened.  Not only was Steve coming to terms with the fact that he wasn't aging but the recently discovered detail that he was sterile.  
  
"Give us a minute, Cap."  
  
Steve nodded politely to Maria and shuffled out of the room.  
  
"He seems like a close friend," Maria said with sharp eyes.  
  
"Thought you weren't here to blackmail me," he countered.  
  
She raised her hands with an amused smile.  
  
"Are you sure it's mine?" Howard asked.  
  
She nodded.  "We can test the blood type when I have it but you're the only man I've been with in over a year."  
  
"I wore a rubber, I think, but, hell, Cap always tells me they're not completely safe.  I - I don't want kids, I never even considered them," Howard sighed.  "But I could use a wife."  
  
"I'm sorry, what?" Maria choked.  
  
It might be a good idea.  He couldn't check his math on this particular situation but she was carrying his kid and she'd openly admitted her own proclivities for women.  
  
"I'll claim the kid, Steve would never forgive me if I didn't and it would be easier if you and I got hitched," he said.  "It would do wonders for my reputation to snag a lady like you.  You'd have money, the kid will grow up spoiled and entitled and with enough confidentiality contracts, you can divorce me when you get bored."  
  
"That's not what I came here for," Maria whispered.  
  
"You said you came for help, and this could help us both.  And the kid.  Two people can hire more nannies than one," he pointed out.  
  
"Shouldn't you talk to Steve about that?" she replied after a long moment.  
  
He leaned forward.  "Steve and I are family, that's not going to change no matter who I'm sleeping with.  He lives here, he stays with me, _always_.  You're welcome to take your own lovers, discretely if we get married, of course - but Steve's presence in our home will be non-negotiable."  
  
"If you're serious about this, you crazy bastard, then he should probably be a part of the conversation," Maria said finally.  
  
  
  
explain  
  
"We're not sleeping together.  We used to, I love him, but it's not sexual anymore," Steve said when Maria sat down beside him after hours of signing paperwork.  
  
"He told me.  If it matters, I doubt it'll be sexual with me and Howard either," she replied.  
  
"I just want him to be happy, and you," Steve said.  Maria was mystified by this man.  He was too genuine to be real and she was starting to see why Howard was so protective about a superhero that couldn't be killed.  
  
She promised herself she would lay all her cards out before she took the diamond.  "And the child.  You like children?"  
  
He didn't flinch but it was a near thing.  "Yeah.  I won't be able to have any.  Not that I have anyone to have them with, but - " he hesitated.  "I'm always happy when I hear someone's having a baby but this time, I feel like that's not what you guys need from me."  
  
Oh.  "That's why you've been so quiet?"  
  
He shrugged.  "Yeah.  I've been hassling Howard to settle down for years, and anyone he picked would have to be pretty special and you hold your own with him.  He likes you and maybe one day he'll love you.  But the child...that's a big undertaking."  
  
"Then it's good that the baby's going to have you around to help out.  I may be marrying Howard, but I understand that means you, too.  You're a major part of Howard's life and you're going to be a major part of mine when I take his name," she said.  "Honestly, I trust you more than I trust him."  
  
Steve smiled kindly.  "Everyone says that."  
  
She took his hand.  "Will you help me raise this child and teach me how to love Howard?"  
  
His eyes were bright and true and when he nodded, she knew that she could do this with him behind her.  


**Author's Note:**

> I have such a ♥ for Howard/Steve and have tried to write this story so many times. Steve helps raise Tony and when Howard and Maria pass, he's left with a surly teenager and the curse of immortality and there is drama (Tony's such a brat) and matchmaking (but he totes wants Steve to get laid) and true love (Steve and Bucky are MFEO.)


End file.
